Wonder
by coyotemanifest
Summary: He saw her every day until he didn't. A story of stolen glances, missed chances and misreading between the lines. An Edward and Bella drabble fic. Rated M for later. Canon Couples Always.
1. Chapter 1: He Saw her

Edward saw her every day until he didn't.

Quick glances, none that lasted more than seconds. For a year now, he could count on one hand the number of times their encounters would linger for more than that on the packed commuter train during the rush hour home, and he'd wonder.

He would wonder because that's all he could do. Bodies would bump and shuffle against one another, the conversation was always absent - not even stilted - as people ignored each other in their vacuums of whatever playlist got them through their commutes home. Even he, he admitted, as he stole glances at her; wondering what got her through the day as she looked so often in thought during these encounters. Not dazed, not begging for the warmth and peace of home like so many others, but thankful for the freedom the commute home had granted her.

An encounter- it wasn't even that - he admonished himself, but for the second she passed by him each and every time, every day. The fated passing adorned to him by the gods of the unreserved coach U; there was something more in her polite smile, the way their eyes locked and how the agitation of the day washed from him as if she were a cooling breeze.

He could only ever smile back and wonder how he could never get closer to her in the 20 minutes on that train home before he continued onto his final stop.


	2. Chapter 2: She kept going

**Here's Bella. This whole thing is unbeta'd and I'm kind of running with it as I go. I'm sure I'll outline it as I get more into it but I have a fairly decent idea of where I have these guys going and I don't want to restrict them too much. This is my first fanfic but not my first attempt at writing. I wanted to go with a drabble fic just so I can write more often and not sit and edit over and over. Let's see how it goes.**

"I think that's the last of it dad" Bella called to her father, who pushed the door to her new apartment shut with a heave of his foot behind him.

"I don't know what I'm going to do with all this empty shelf space at home Bells, you could've left some of it behind you know. It's not that far to come back now and then" Charlie chuckled, the twitch of his mustache betraying him.

"I know, I just never know what I'm going to want to read at any given time, y'know?" she said, grazing the spine of the Great Gatsby - just one of her favourite books.

"Did you actually pack any clothes?" her father asked dubiously, changing the subject.

Charlie Swan was not a big reader. Whilst he was an esteemed chief of police, Charlie felt intimidated by the girl that stood before him, nevertheless proud of the woman she'd grown into - amazed at the world of books and possessions that illustrated her personality.

"Beneath my library? I think just the essentials, sure." Bella quipped.

"Well, as I said, it's not that far to come back now and then"

"For clothes?" Bella asked, a lump forming in her throat.

"For clothes." He mirrored.


	3. Chapter 3: Predictable

**Here we go again. Work is kicking back up again soon and I'm heading back into a city of my own. When all settles back into a routine I should have a better idea of a posting schedule. Thanks for sticking with me!**

He looked forward to seeing her.

Not in a creepy kind of way, he supposed. Commuting day in day out had a way of accumulating familiar faces and hers was one he looked forward to.

The familiar stranger that you hoped you'd one day have the opportunity to talk to; to find kismet.

But the day had never come.

Instead, he recognized other faces. The woman opposite him in her mid-40s who never failed to sit across from him with her travel mug that read 'Zenith' and a sandwich that rolled the stomachs of every commuter with an appetite that had yet to wake up for the early trip into the city.

He didn't know if the woman was a fan of the seat or him. Edward just took the seat nearest to the door in the direction that didn't make him nauseous most mornings, and the woman took the nauseating seat. He didn't think much beyond that decision, he always wondered where 'she' would sit.

She was unpredictable but always at a distance. For a period he'd tried to predict her but there was no guessing. He'd always be on the train a stop before her and leave a stop after, and she would often spend her mornings clambering into whatever seat was nearest at the last minute, or well after the train had left; armed with overpriced snacks to fuel her for way-too-short journey.

In the mornings she moved. She often found a seat despite her stop being a busy one, but it was as if she was trying to stay awake by any means necessary; be that food, brushing her hair, or stretching. He was drawn to her and she was oblivious.

It was in the forced stillness of the rush hour commutes that he could sense her, see her mind working. He remembered the times he was treated to the rich tones of her voice, chuckling as she apologized when someone needed to pass by her, and the heat it ignited within him as she shot him a look of acknowledgment and a flare of irritation before slipping back into her own vacuum of peace.

He wondered if she ever thought about him in those moments that they connected.


	4. Author's Note: More soon!

**I can't believe I didn't update this. **

Well, actually I can. I overthought what I intended to be drabble fic and met my nemesis: dialogue.

I've since had time to think about the direction of this story and more so, how I want to let it prompt me. A lot of these circumstances have been my own and are prompted by my own life.

So going from there, I hope to be back to this soon with a completely unprecedented direction for these two.

Nothing new for 2020 though right?

Thanks - x


	5. Chapter 5: Life Interrupted

**Here's our Bella. You're gonna see that we had a little misdirect in the first couple chapters. It wasn't planned when I first started this fic, but as my life as panned out (as has 2020) this is where my characters are leading me and I think I'll achieve more from these two this way.**

**I'd love to start making my chapters *slightly* longer, but some of you have shown me love off an author's note alone. With that, here is Bella and i'll be back as soon as I can.**

**p.s. I have no beta, so forgive any errors. **

Bella had always had the ability to hold multiple trains of thought without losing focus.

Simultaneously, she was living in the past, present and future just through thoughts; with each strand of thinking hovering over the other with such clarity.

But occasionally, there was a static - where everything blurred for just a moment.

There was a static when Bella looked at the rugged stranger on her new commute into work. She'd look at him and everything before wasn't worth thinking about about, and everything after was unpredictable.

That's why Bella never thought about the day when she'd stop seeing those emerald eyes again.

**A/N: What's your ideal chapter length? I'm hoping to let these guys lead me and post as this story develops, but I'd love to get your thoughts! Thank you for your love! **


	6. Chapter 6: Dreamscape

Fever dreams were trash.

For days Bella had found herself a part of nightmare dreamscapes - feverish loops that would repeat, taunting her into trying to figure out what was wrong.

She'd be on the verge of figuring it out when she'd wake up, less rested than when she'd fallen asleep.

In her dreams, the sickness didn't exist.

She'd be stepping through the vestibule, always nervous that the train would move off before she'd step down onto firmer ground but eager to see if he was there.

But she was a coward.

Bella always defaulted, her anxiety busying herself with the pursuit of sitting anywhere else, unfocused on the man that had her attention every time she stepped onto the train.

She told herself that tomorrow would be okay to try a little further, to sit a little closer.

That's how far she'd get in the dreams.

Bella would clear her throat, about to _finally_ say something, the length of the carriage somehow imperceptible, when the edges of the fever would creep in once more, and his skin would pale before her.

Dread, she realises as reality seeps in at the edges of her dream, just before her consciousness pulls her back.

And regret.

Regret because life had changed too much for Bella to even wonder about the day she'd push herself to finally talk to the emerald eyed man on her commute.

**AN:More soon**


End file.
